Greasemonkey!

June 10, 2004

Was watching a CNN documentary on the Warsaw Underground. Rivetting stuff, and made me start reminiscing about BF1942.

I believe it was one of the beach landing missions. Allies have to get up a hill from the beach, into a town, around a bend in the road, into concrete tank traps and hordes of angry looking Nazies pissed about the Allies littering their lovely beach with their ugly landing craft.

I was playing Sniper(Scout) as usual, and found myself a nice third-floor window to set up in. Nice warm fireplace, thermos of tea, biccies and all nice and cozy to watch the action and take the occasional headshot between puffs on my pipe.

Scorp found himself a tank. Big surprise. ESWAT (Ze Hornie Frenchman) was playing Engineer ‘cos he wanted to play with explosives (No! French! Really? Explosives? Didn’t know he had it in him)

I watch French running around for a while, chucking dynamite around and playing with his monkey wrench, dropping mines and inadvertantly blowing up our own tanks a few times.

Scorp finally manages to maneuver his tank up the hill into the town and into squad of German soldiers.

[Scorp] : I NEED BACKUP!!!

[Jolly Lucifer] : *Tea and bicces flying everywhere* Got your back! *BANG!* Woohoo, headshot. I Rule!

[German Soldier] : Argh! I’m hit! Give my regards to Broadway! I love you Fritz! Bleargh!

[German AT Soldier] : Bah! Crappy American engineering! Take this! *Click* *Whoosh* *BANG!*

[Scorp] : ARGH! I’m hit! BACKUP!!!

[Jolly Lucifer] : *BANG!* Woohoo, headshot. I Rule!

[German AT Soldier] : Argh. I regret I have only one life to…

[Jolly Lucifer] : Ah, shut up.

[German AT Soldier] : Bleargh.

[Scorp] : GREASEMONKEY!!! I need a GREASEMONKEY!!!

[ESWAT] : Hey, I’m a Greasemonkey! Oo! I’m on my way. *runs after Scorp*

[Scorp] : Dammit! Hurry up. I can hear the enemy tank!

[Jolly Lucifer] : Where did I put my matches?

[ESWAT] : Greasemonkey here! Ook.

[Scorp] : Well, what are you waiting for, get on top of me and hit me with your wrench!

[ESWAT] : Ook! I mean, okay!

[Jolly Lucifer] : Biccies!

[ESWAT] : *WHACK* Ook! *WHACK* OOk!

[Scorp] : Hurry up you stupid Greasemonkey! Oh Shit, a German tank! *BOOM!* Shit, I missed!

[German Tank Driver] : Stupid Americans! *BOOOM!*

[Scorp] : AARGH! I’m hit! Harder, you stupid Greasemonkey! Harder!

[ESWAT] : OOK!! *WHACK!* OOOK!! *WHACK*

[Scorp] : Good Greasemonkey! That’s it! Harder! That’s a good Greasemonkey!! Oh yeah!

[ESWAT] : OOk!! *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* OOK!! EEK!!! *WHACK* *WHACK*

[German Tank Driver] : ….. This give me happy feeling in pants. Must try this with mein Frauline.

[Scorp] : Oh yeah, baby… that’s it… that’s a good… almost there, here it COMES!!!

[ESWAT] : EEEK!!! OOOK!!! EEEK!!! *WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK* *Strauss’s Thus
Spake Zarathustra
starts playing in the background*

[Jolly Lucifer] : Mmm… choc chip…

[Scorp] : OH YEAH!!! FIRE IN THE HOLE!!! *BOOM*

[German Tank Driver] : Oh Shitzen! *BAAANG!!!!!!* Aaiii!!! IT BURNS!!!

[Scorp] : YEAH! I love you Greasemonkey!

[ESWAT] : Ook?

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