Cats, and other Deities.

January 23, 2004

The common cat. Felus Domesticus. Or so they would have us believe. Ever watched a cat and had a niggling little suspicion at the back of your mind that they know more than they let on. That they have secrets and depths that we mere humans could never comprehend. There’s something almost ageless about them. Like they’ve got all the time in the world and the patience to see their plans through. I’m sure they’ve got plans. Could you believe anything else? We pander to their every need, and in return receive fur on our clothes, scratched furniture and the occasional half-eaten unfortunate creature that had the audacity to simply exist on the same planet as the oh-so-divine feline. We’d never tolerate such an imbalance in our relationships with other humans, but cats seem to abide by different rules. Apparently looking cute, purring and those big dreamy eyes absolve all sins.

In ancient Egypt cats were revered as god, albeit only minor ones. Which begs me to ask the question: Why do they hide their godliness from us now? Part of me suspects that it is due to the fact that when a person in ancient Egypt croaked (i.e. Died, not made silly noises.) their pet cats were often mummified and interred with them, regardless of whether the cat in question was still alive at the time, or wanted to make the rather terminal life-choice of being mummified. I believe the cats themselves are content to carry out their dastardly plans in secret, while we humans, with our apparently superior intellect, remain blissfully ignorant until it’s too late. Kind of like the CIA, except that cats don’t need suits and dark glasses to look cool. Would you want to know that your precious Mr. Tiddlywuddlums is part of a secret organization planning to take over the world, has a law degree, and posted those naked pictures of you on the church website? I don’t think so.You’d rather believe that your adorable furball was an angelic chorister in a previous incarnation. And so we remain unaware of the dangers of associating with the furry minions of doom.

And it is in their best interests that we stay that way.

Humans know how to work the can opener.

Our ignorance is mandatory.


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